Saturday, July 31, 2010

From Behind the Clip Board

The Storm

The opening of day four of Cub Scout Day Camp was like all the others, a flag ceremony, a thought for the day and announcements. On this day there was a call for rain and potential thunderstorms. We were given instructions to follow in the event there was lightening – but I was not listening because several of the boys were wrestling, some were talking, and one was just having a rough morning and was crying for his mother. So I tried to comfort him, stop the wrestling, and maintain control of twenty eight year old boys. Needless to say, I completely missed the announcements – besides right then it was hot and there was no cloud in the sky.

Two hours later, a storm blew up within minutes and all the boys were corralled into a large pavilion to wait out the storm. But before we discuss the storm let me go back to the beginning of the day. Before we leave for our first station all the boys are to line up two-by-two and hold up their buddies hand, and in the other hold up their water bottle. They have to go everywhere with their buddy, and they have to drink water constantly (it was hot).

So let’s back to the storm.

As we huddled into the pavilion the light rain turned into a thunderstorm. Lightening cracked, and thunder boomed – and it was a solid sheet of heavy rain that blew through the open air building. The rain on top of the tin roof drowned out the Camp Director’s shouts as she tried to give instructions. The parents who were with our group, and myself made the boys sit down – next to their buddy. Several of the boys began to cry, all were afraid, and one was even praying. So here we were, cold from the rain, huddled together, hearing the cries of our friends, and surrounded by noise that was terrifying (for an eight year old boy).

The boys began to put their arms around each other comforting and telling each other that it was going to be ok. I held the clipboard and was going through our group trying to make sure we had everyone and that no one was missing. We had everyone, and now we just had to wait out the storm. I was amazed at how the boys who came from different neighborhoods, schools, and walk of life put aside the childish fun making and joking – and began to truly care for each other. There are always a few in any group that seem to just be mean toward others because of how they dress, look, act, etc. but not then. Every boy was scared and sought comfort from and helped out his buddy.

We all have storms that come into our lives – sometimes slowly, often times quickly. But what makes the difference is that we can hold up our buddy’s hand and tell each other that “it’s going to be ok.”

Buddies are important.

H.B. London, head of pastoral ministries for Focus on the Family has disclosed “at least 70 percent of pastors in the United States claim they have no friends.” That means that most pastors who teach on fellowship and community don’t have these things within their own lives. They see the need in the life of others, but aren’t willing to take those steps in their own lives. Why don’t we have a buddy’s hand that we can hold up?

First, many leaders buy into the myth that as the leader they can not show favoritism toward others or it will seem “cliquish” and upset others. Some feel they can’t truly be themselves and relax because they still remain to be “the leader.” For a pastor this means that they are always the spiritual leader and always feel as though they set the example for others to follow. Whatever the reason (true or false) many people find themselves in a storm alone. The thunder booms and the lightening strikes, and they are sacred to death – and there is no comfort.

As a pastor I am supposed to tell you to read your Bible and seek comfort from Christ – but we are also designed by God to need other people in our lives. God created “woman” for “man” in the Garden of Eden. The apostle Paul describes the church as a body – and there is a need for all the parts to work together and to present. There are many more examples of Scripture of where men/mankind need friendships, family, and meaningful relationships.

How Do We Find A Buddy?

1) Assign yourself to a person and stick with them all week.
At Cub Scout Camp all the boys chose a buddy and some (for various reasons) were assigned a buddy. Glen was assigned to Jared. Glen took this responsibility very seriously, but Jared would run off from the group, disrupt the “quiet times” during the flag ceremonies with (let’s just say boys sounds), and it was all around very difficult to be his buddy. On the second day I asked Glen if he wanted to make a buddy group of three with another group of two and I would assign our older Scout helper to be Jared’s buddy. Glen said, “no” he wanted to stay with Jared. And he did all week. Glen put up with a lot of grief – but when the storm on day four hit both were comforted. Jared and Glen needed a buddy. Perhaps, as adults we don’t have one because we bounce from person to person, group to group, when they prove to be difficult to be their buddy.

2) Always stay with your buddy.
The reason why Boy Scouts of America pushes the buddy system so strongly is because of the numerous accounts of where a scouts got lost, drowned, hurt, etc.. because they got turned around and there was no one there to keep account of them. We all need someone there to make sure we are on the right path, going in the right direction, and following the safety rules. Buddies keep us safe, it’s as simple as that. The only way for the buddy system to work is that we have to always stay with our buddy.

3) Be a Good Friend.
It is amazing to me how eight-year-old will go all week playing with and being friends with another boys and never stop to ask their name. There have been several times where my children will go to an event and have a wonderful time, and make several friends. But when I ask them what the other children’s names were, they will typically say, “I never asked.”

But if you watch them play together they are good friends. They share, pat each other on the back, cheer when they do well, say “that’s ok” when they don’t do so well. They open up their hearts and share moments in time together as friends. Adults seem so guarded, and focused on what they get out of the relationship – but kids are there to make a friend and have a great time.

The storm passed and we went on our way. It quickly was forgotten about as we went to Scout Skills and swimming. Parents showed up at the end to pick up their kids, and it wasn’t the storm that they talked about with them, it was the activities that followed.

Cub Scout Day Camp 2010 Part Two






The last three days of camp included sling shots, dissecting owl pellets, swimming, performing skits, playing games, even more archery, knot tying and much much more. They don't want to admit it, but they are tired. They learned so much and had a great time. It also gets them ahead on earning their "Bear Rank."
Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cub Scout Day Camp





This week Joshua and Caleb have been attending the Cub Scout Day Camp. The theme for this year is "Jungle Book" based on Rudyard Kipling's book (Not Disney's). If you want to read about it click here. Activities include archery, crafts, BBs, sports (kickball, swimming, etc.), sling shots, nature, and "Scout Skills." They have enjoyed the camp, but are really looking forward to earning their "whitl'n chip." This is an award that allows them to carry a pocket knife on their uniforms. The temperature has varied between hot and slightly hot -- but overall "bearable." (They are Bears, sorry for the Cub Scout humor). The boys have made some new friends, learned some new life skills, and are having a blast.
Thursday, July 22, 2010

Backyard Adventure Camp Day Three



Thank you parents for allowing us to share a few evenings with your children. They are so precious and we had a great time. Thank you volunteers for helping, we could not have done it without you.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010

BYAC 2010

First Flight Lesson

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

sometimes you have to laugh or else you just go crazy


www.reverendfun.com
Sunday, July 11, 2010

First Flight Lesson

So today’s my birthday and Kimberly completely surprised with a wonderful gift. She set up childcare and took me on a surprise “date.” After we finished breaking down and putting away church, dropping the kids off, and grabbing a quick bite for lunch we found ourselves at the Frederick airport.

She had arranged for me to take my first flying lesson (and only lesson

unless we can come up with $8,000). The lesson began with pre-flight training. We went around the plane and checked everything from the air pressure of the tires, to fuel levels, to instruments and various buttons and gadgets.

I learned how to “taxi” the plane to the runway, and the flight instructor actually let me take off, and (almost)

land the plane. Kimberly screamed when we felt the feeling of actual flight upon takeoff. She told me later that she couldn’t see who was actually flying – all she could see were my hands on the yoke. We flew around the Frederick area but to be honest I didn’t do much sight seeing. I was focused on about five things at once (keeping the nose and wings lined up correctly to the horizon, controlling the thrust, and watching for other planes in the area . . .etc. We saw our old town home in Spring Ridge and the Lake Linganore Lake.

It was the coolest thing that I have done in along time – thank you Kimberly (and kids) for a great birthday.

PS-if you are going to take your first flight lesson . . . don't wear flip-flops.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Road Hazards

Never put the words “uneventful” in a blog/facebook entry before the trip is completely over. On the way back from vacation one hour south of Roanoke, VA (where my wife and her family are from) the van began to spew red liquid, smoke, and would go no further than the gas station we limped into.

The van had begun to make some funny noises that to the untrained mechanics ear sounded “a little funny” but nothing to be concerned about – boy were we wrong. We went into the gas station and asked if a mechanic’s shop was close by and within 20 minutes there was an elderly gentlemen looking under our hood. His news was not good and the quote he gave was $1,500.

We opted to pay him $200 to tow us to Roanoke, VA for Kimberly’s uncle David (aka “Hoo Pop”) gracefully agreed to help us. This kind man also saw our family of six and figured very quickly that we were not all going to climb into his tow truck. So he graciously and without charge offered to let us borrow his brand new extended cab (which I drove) to lead him to Salem, VA where David’s shop is located.

“We”[1] originally thought it was simply low transmission fluid levels, but after changing it and filling it back up as we headed back the next afternoon it began to spew fluid and smoke again. So we headed back to Roanoke and spent the night. David ended up completely pulling out the entire transmission, fixing a leaking “grey seal” and “overdrive belt” located inside.[2] I needed to go back home to work, and Kimberly and the kids stayed for several days until the work was completed (a total of eight days).

Our family is so thankful to God for getting us all back together in one piece and not having to take out a second mortgage on the house to fix Ole’ Blue. Also, we are thankful for family that came to our rescue. David took eight days from his summer vacation to fix our car and we are so thankful for this gracious act of love towards our family.

So the uneventful vacation became eventful -- but what would vacation be if it were only calm, relaxing, and peaceful.


[1] I stood with my hands on my hips peering into the hodgepodge of wires and metallic moving parts trying to act like I knew what these parts were. Nodding in agreement with the prognosis.

[2] I put these things in quotes because I have no idea what they are or what they do.



Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Communicating Successfully

One of the greatest challenges many leaders face is effective communication between the leader and those whom he leads. We live in a technological world of constant communication with cell phones, texts, twitter and facebook. We can know what you ate for dinner, but do we know what truly motivates your soul? We understand that you have changed a part of our organization, but do you understand how this change affects my family?

It is difficult to translate a new concept across multiple layers of organization, different ages, life experiences, etc… that includes passion, explanation, vision, and reasons for this “new direction.” Everyone has the ability to take something that is said and add his or her own “understanding” to the communicated items.

So not only does the leader have to communicate an idea, but he must also try and predict how others may respond and adjust the communication accordingly. So as we enter into a discussion regarding communication let’s start with a definition: “Communication is the process we go through to convey understanding from one person or group to another (Genesis 11, Matthew 13:51, Mark 8:13-21.)”

Generally there is a process that one goes through to pass on this understanding:
1. Develop a clear concept of the idea or feeling to be communicated.
2. Choose the right words and actions to convey the idea or feeling.
3. Become aware of the surrounding communication barriers and work at minimizing them.
4. Absorb the transmitted information by listening to the words and observing the actions.
5. Translate the words and actions.
6. Develop correct ideas and/or feelings.

But in any organization there is always the potential or eventual conflict that results from either poorly communicated ideas, or persons who add in too much of their own information to the communication and the end result is conflict.

Organizational Conflict
"Open and hostile opposition occurring as a result of differing viewpoints." It is possible to have a “disagreement” without hostility. But this definition involves hostility. Our focus today will focus on how to deal with conflicts directly resulting from conflicting communication.

Negative Results
• Conflict comes from our own selfish desires and passions (James 4:1)
• Conflict causes us to fabricate and magnify faults and weaknesses in others (Ad Hominem).
• Conflict creates division within the organization (will you participate?)
• Conflict causes us to expend our energies on non-productive activities (Romans 12:18).

Positive Results
• Disagreement can lead to individual and organizational growth (Proverbs 27:17).
• Disagreement can reveal the need for change (Proverbs 18:15).
• Disagreement can help make us more tolerant of opposing views (Proverbs 23:12).

So the business meeting didn’t go the way you thought, you have received an e-mail from an angry person in your organization, or certain people won’t return your phones calls – there it is conflict staring you right in the face. So how do we deal with it?

Methods of Dealing with Conflict
1. Avoid it, retreating from it. You can always just run away.
2. Attempting to avoid it by circumventing major issues and focusing on minor issues. You find yourself saying things like, “we are meeting tonight to discuss the brand name of the toilet paper in the stalls.”
3. Dealing without side issues.
4. Identifying the real issues of the conflict and working your way through them to a satisfactory resolution.

Yes, you guess it – this is the right answer (not the easy answer). It takes experience, spiritual discernment, and understanding of sinful human nature to sometimes identify the “real” issues of the conflict. Believe it or not, people will not always tell you why they are angry (they may not even know why), won’t come to meetings, aren’t returning e-mails, etc… So the challenge is get past the false issues and move into the true root of the conflict.

Scriptural Approach to Confrontation
1. Make Sure that you are dealing with facts, not guesses or hearsay (Deuteronomy 19:15).
2. Always make the initial confrontation in private between you and the person involved (Proverbs 25:9-10; Matthew 18:15).
3. When you try to resolve the conflict privately if the other person involved refuses to resolve the problem, take someone with you and try again (Matthew 18:16). The goal is restoration.
4. If the person continues to resist resolving the conflict, you may need to dissolve the relationship (Matthew 18:17). But this is another chance for the person to repent.

• The biblical picture of “restoration” is one of setting a broken bone. It is painful but the ultimate goal is healing and putting things back as they should be. Also, be aware that you may not always be the one setting the bone – it might be you who are in need of having their legs broken and reset. Ouch.

• In leadership, people are always important. Therefore, seeking to restore relationships should always be a top priority. Sometimes it ends well, sometimes it doesn’t – but you must do all that is within your ability to restore the relationship.

Note: the basic premise of this article was borrowed from class notes of Dr. Ken Coley at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in a class entitled Church Management and Administration in 1998.

Gospel Magic

Gospel Magic
how did he do that?

About Me

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I am the father of four wonderful children and the husband of the best woman on the planet. I am pastor at Daybreak Community Church, check us out at www.daybreak-church.com. I also have a web site at www.drewboswell.com.

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